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K?”So Jack goes home, ready to try what he’d learned.About 2 weeks later, the doctor sees Jack coming towards him on a pair of crutches.“Hello Jack, how’s things going?” He asks.“Oh, so so.” Answered Jack.“Did you try what I showed you with your wife?”“Mmmm, yup, when I got home, I thought I’d try it straight away. So I stripped off, got her clothes off, then I thought ‘what do i lay her on’ then I spotted the ironing board. So I lays her on that. Then I thought ‘what do I hold my left testical up with’ I know a piece of string from it to the light fitting, I just got on top of her when the ironing board collapsed. That’s why I’m walking like this.”Paddy goes to the doctor with a problem.“So, Paddy, what’s the matter?” asked the doc.“Well it’s like this, I’ve got 9 kids already and I don’t need the wife pregnant again. What’ll I do, I got enough.”“I can put your wife on the pill” the doc says.“The what.”“You know, the contraceptive pill. But you must wear a rubber for a month till she. He was no where in sight. I breathed a deep sigh of relief, felt the muscles relax just a bit and turning, I closed the door behind me, being much more sedate in my mannerisms. I knew my reprieve was going to be short -- he was still in the house -- somewhere. I walked purposely through the kitchen, not deeming to hide the echoed clicking sounds of my fuck-me heels as each hit the tile floor. I entered the dining room, the living-room and made my way right to the bathroom.The door was closed. Ah, so this is where he was currently secreted away. Feeling much luckier, I headed down the hall to the bedroom. Happily, I entered the room, glad for a chance to remove the foul-smelling outfit before he could see me in it.My smile disappeared, my heart sank and my panic returned. There, on the bed, was my husband. And the look on his face was an odd mixture of... ? Of what, I couldn't figure out exactly, but something was wrong. He should have been angry, surprised, shocked. But, the look on.
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